• Mary Byler

Come as You Are

Let's talk about the mentality some people have that survivors must or can be fixed. Or even that survivors must return to their previous state prior to being abused.


Saying we must be fixed or you just want to fix us implies a lot.


It says we are not correct/right/ok/valid the way we are, even though the abuse that we survived as children and even as adults was not our fault.


Being abused can literally rewire some neurological pathways, so stop putting that pressure on us. On top of all that, everyone has things that change about them before and after being abused as a child, let alone people in general evolve as human beings as they navigate life.


Start accepting us the way we are, start by allowing us to express our anger, grief, and our loss.


Start by being present with us as we walk through this journey of finding the will to live after the horror and terror.


Start by having some human decency and showing compassion and empathy.


Start by allowing us the ability to make our life choices, even if, gasp, you DON'T agree with those choices.


Start by honoring us, by looking at us and treating us like the human beings we are, for we are worthy of basic human decency.



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