Safety Planning

Quite a few people have asked my loved ones and me questions that indicate they have severely underestimated safety concerns voiced by people who experienced violence at the hands of Plain Perpetrators. Recently, someone asked me what it means when someone tells you, “They will come for you.” This is my response. Please plan safety and do not assume that because the perpetrator is a conscientious objector or Amish or Plain, they will not engage in perpetrator behavior. Thank you. Mary

When we sought safety, we experienced harm. 

Men often use us (non-practicing women and AFAB bodies) as cautionary tales. We become villains. The people can justify labelling us as bitter and angry, because we are not obeying the directive. Our compliance, submission and obedience may be considered set aside if we seek an environment where we are not being abused. The ones who are living a loose worldly life, and we pay consequences for daring to seek higher education. 

Many Amish have an attitude that higher education makes one pretentious, plus may outright state things like “what do the Drs even know -what with their fancy college education and all.” Amish people often remain secure in their attachment to the way our forefathers did things. This is the right way, the Amish way. Some Amish even sing the song “Tis a Good Old Time Religion,” in which one of the verses is "it was good for our fathers, and it's good enough for me!"

When you become non-practicing, your DNA shared people may respond in a varied manner; however, if you were baptized in the church, you will be set aside the church per the practices inspired by the confessions of faith in articles sixteen and seventeen (Dordrecht, Holland 1632). What that means is your relationships with your loved ones will change, usually irrevocably. Distinct types of Amish may interpret and apply these articles independently which results in varied norms. Sometimes families may add to that rule. Regardless of how severe the practices of shunning are in the specific flavor of Amish, there's a general attitude that when you become non-practicing, you are not Amish anymore. 

Some types of Amish label you and classify you as a person out in the world living a loose life. 

Even if they sit you at a table to eat at a formal event, the community itself will be talking for days about the person who is not practicing that was present. This is often presented as concern for your soul due to the underlying belief that it's a privilege to be born Amish. That belief may go hand in hand with the belief that when you became non-practicing, you broke the sacred covenant God gave you when he bestowed the privilege of being born Amish. 

All that to say, after generations of indoctrination, when one leaves or escapes and they speak openly about their experiences in Amish homes, church, and communities, they may be stalked, harassed, and even physically or sexually assaulted because of it. 

Using our legal names to speak out against oppression can make it so much easier for them to find us.

Often, entire families and communities will engage in hate mail campaigns to bring you back to the fold. Sometimes there will be phone call campaigns. I had to contact local law enforcement to get the community to stop harassing my host family and me with phone calls at all hours of the day and night. 

Just because the dominant culture thinks the Amish don't have access to the Internet does not make it true. 

Amish have varied relationships with technology. When it comes to stalking non-practicing members - I escaped 22 years ago, and last Sunday, a practicing Amish person was listening in on my TikTok live. Less than twenty-four hours later, the Plain Express brought news of how the live discussion discussing Sam Shetler's criminal activity was wrong because people used curse words and there wasn't enough talk about God. 

That's one example. 

Another is the Amish people, who called local law enforcement because I drove on a public road, claiming I was doing things I never did. 

In fact, it was impossible for me to physically be on that public road at that time because of the location I was clocked in at work.

Another example is property destruction- e.g., arson, slicing tires, theft, breaking glass behind my vehicles, and having police officers call my loved ones to harass them, even minor children. 

Another example is some people will bring a van driver and hunt you down and physically take you back. 

Another example is that Amish people sometimes forcefully take you to a facility.

(Sometimes this may include subjecting you to psychological abuse until you comply).

People may degrade you until you comply with the directive to return to the right way of life, the Amish way.

The ministers may visit you to admonish you, and you might become the subject of Sunday’s sermons.

I'm not suggesting this is what everyone will experience - I am saying many have experienced and/or witnessed some of this. It makes sense that their nervous system would be on  HIGH ALERT at the idea that people who have favorable and nostalgic feelings towards the Amish community at large could easily place them in harm's way and even unintentionally misuse the privilege of having their legal name, and/or location, and/or place of employment, and/or schools attended(or attending).